Marriage On God's Terms

The divorce rate among Christians is alarmingly high. It has been sad for me to watch a number of acquaintances and friends getting divorced over the years.  It was heartbreaking that one couple’s marriage ended in divorce after a few years. They had a Christ Centered wedding and one of the best weddings I attended. They rushed into marriage without thinking through some important things. The problem with many young people is that they rush into marriage without really getting to know each other well enough.  Many young people have this attitude: “If things don’t work out, we can always get a divorce”. This is contrary to God’s word. God makes it very clear that marriage is a lifetime commitment.  Look at some important verses below.

For I hate divorce,” says the LORD (Malachi 2:16)

To the married I give this command (not I, but the Lord): A wife must not separate from her husband. But if she does, she must remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband. And a husband must not divorce his wife (1 Corinthians 7:10-11)

Many single people especially women become desperate as they get older if they are not married yet. I had the privilege of meeting Krissy Ludy, Eric Ludy’s sister at Set Apart Girl Conference in Colorado 3 years ago. She didn’t get married until she was 34. Check out her amazing story. She had a lot of pressures that she needed to find a husband because of her age, but she didn’t give in. I admire her for waiting on God’s timing.

I strongly recommend that married couples (to help single people in their lives), singles, pastors, and parents of young adults and teenagers read “12 Questions To Ask Before You Marry” By Clayton and Charie King. Chapter 9: Are You Compatible? is especially important.  I appreciate their bold statement on page 92: Just because you are in love with someone does not mean you are compatible with them.

My Personal Suggestions for Singles & People in Relationships:

1.) Don't become desperate for a mate. Just be patient and wait on God's timing. When you become desperate, you tend to lower your standards.

2.)  Be friends with the opposite sex first before you consider the possibility of marrying them. This is the best way for you to find out what the person is like.

4.) Before you get married, be sure that you go to premarital counseling with a godly pastor who has a strong marriage and believes that marriage is a lifetime covenant.

5.) Beware of a man/woman who starts going to church with you, but never really went to church before.

6.) Even if you have dated or courted someone for years, that doesn't necessarily mean he/she is the right one for you. Seek God's will on this.

7.) If you are in doubt about a relationship, you should pray about it and talk to a pastor or a godly couple who has been married for many years. Never dismiss your doubts.