Monday, December 19, 2011

Emotional Purity

I am very grateful that my church participated in several True Love Waits rallies when I was in the youth group.  But there was one issue that was never addressed in my youth group. The issue of guarding your heart and emotions was never addressed.  I was alarmed to see a number of teenagers in the youth group going through painful break ups and how they gave piece of their hearts away that should have been reserved for their future spouses. My parents told me that I could not date until I was 16. I ended up not dating. I decided I didn’t want to do the "worldly" dating game that my friends in the youth group did because of the pain they went through. My aunt told me about how many people in the youth group at her church made a commitment to not date or court until they were ready to consider marriage. Many of them also made commitments to guard their hearts and I really liked that idea. I was amazed at how they were content in their singleness and their willingness to wait on God’s timing. It was amazing that many of them had healthy friendships with the opposite sex. I started attending the singles’ bible study my aunt’s church a few months shy of my 18th birthday and I gained so many insights about relationships.  We went to a wonderful conference about relationships & dating by Joshua Harris in Atlanta in August 1997. Joshua shared his personal story about how he was still a virgin, but that he had given his heart away and was too physical with his past girlfriend and how he regretted it. He encouraged us to wait on God’s best for a future spouse, stay physically and emotionally pure, and make most of our singleness and that we should be content in our singleness.

Many people bring emotional baggage in marriages from past dating relationships because they had painful break ups and they gave pieces of their hearts away.
The divorce rate is alarmingly very high among young Christians today. Emotions can be dangerous because so many people get engaged or married too quickly without really getting to know each other. They base their decisions to get married or engaged quickly on emotions. People should take plenty of time to get to know each other better and think through some very tough and important questions.  I have had the privilege of having a number of guy friends over the years. You can really learn a lot from friendships with the opposite sex. It took me a year to know that one guy friend and I were not compatible. We never dated. I’m grateful for the wonderful friendship we had.
Check out a great web site about emotional purity and how to set boundaries at

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